Bondo
23 May 1999
I know it's late, but I just saw Saving Private Ryan. It is terrible the things men do to each other. Terrible. If you haven't seen it, do. This movie is the only one that has ever sensitized me to violence. If you've seen it and still don't understand what I'm talking about, see it again. I'm rethinking my policy on violent movies, which historically has been "If the bad guys get killed, great. I don't mind violence." But now, if movies like Face/Off , The Matrix, and Terminator are what teach kids like Dylan Klebold that violence and death are of no consequence, then how can I have any part of that? Even more so, a father?

20 May 1999

After Star Wars

Good movie. Questions unanswered many. Anxious for Episode 2 I am. Spoil the movie I will. Movie not seen have you, then further you read I warn you not to.
Honestly, I was a little disappointed about the movie. I think I expected too much.
• I didn't care too much for Qui (pronounced "Kwai", as in "Bridge on the River") Gon Jinn (Liam Neeson). He was a little too gung-ho on the force. Kinda force-psycho, if you know what I mean.
• Queen Amidala (Natalie Portman, much prettier than Carrie Fisher) was interesting, though very sullen. I liked the way she kicked droid/Asian-trade-federation heiney at the end. Her twin/handmaid/decoy seemed a little happier than the queen when she was hanging out with Anakin (Jake Lloyd).
• Now I thought Anakin Skywalker was cool. He could race, fix stuff, fly, and get the girl. But he didn't seem to demonstrate to the audience much of his so-called proficiency in the force. From how they made him out to be such a force god, I expected him to move stuff around without his hands (and/or feet, whatever). I'm anxious to see how he grows up, is trained by Obi Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) falls in love with the Queen, and goes bad.
• Obi Wan was also cool. Questioning his master (Qui Gon), slicing Darth Maul (the Satan looking guy) in half, getting mad, screaming when Qui died, tormenting Yoda, jumping high. I can't wait to see him become a general and fight in the Clone Wars. I do hope George explores the Clone Wars in one of the next movies, and doesn't leave it to the books. I can't wait to see the failure of Obi Wan.
• Same old goofy talking Yoda. He looks different in this movie.
• Darth Maul is definitely the baddest jedi of them all. Vader gets the nod for coolest only because he's so classic, and I feel he deserves it. His double bladed lightsaber is ultra-cool. I think the arms-crossed-tough-guy is very cliché.
• Darth Sidious got the same musical treatment as in Return of the Jedi. As mysterious as ever. Now you must know, that he is the same guy as Emperor Palpatine from Jedi and The Empire Strikes Back.
• Senator Palpatine. The name says it all. But why was he acting so happy when he came to Naboo at the end of the movie? Weren't his plans foiled? Or does he know something we do not?
• R2-D2 still rocks. It was great to see him save the ship when every other droid got blasted to the nether realms of the Dark Side, and to hear him tell C-3PO what's what with his nakedness.
• C-3PO's still a wuss. Wouldn't have it any different. It'll be interesting to see how he meets up with R2 later.
• General Observations: This movie tried too hard to be cute and funny. I could have lived without so much of "poopoo" and "yippee". I blame it on George Lucas' direction. Maybe he'll let someone else direct the next one. I think there should have been some kind of rogue "I don't need no stinking force" character, like Han Solo. And where's the fastest hunk of junk in the galaxy, or some reasonable facsimile thereof? Jayme said there were too many computer generated characters, that she liked the human-as-character concept better. I think she has a good point. What the heck is a meta-chlorine, and why is George trying to lay some pseudo-scientific basis for the force? The basic story is still very good: nasty trade federation, powerless bureaucracy of the Republic, invasion, betrayal, love, conflict, blah blah blah. I loved the score that was played during the end duel. I wished Darth Maul wouldn't have died.
• SEE IT FOR THE LIGHTSABER DUELS! In a word: SUPER FREAKING AWESOME! Much better than The Princess Bride. See it for the back story! See it for the Pod Race! See it because you'll be the biggest outcast if you don't!

End of Star Wars Review

Oh yes, check out the new layout at naked Sally.

In other news, I was at Wal-Mart the other day trying to buy some juice. I gave two fives to the checkout girl. One was missing about 25% of the bill. She asked me if I had the rest of the bill. I said, "I think that's legal". She said she would find out. A few minutes another girl comes buy, obviously an expert, and says, they can't take the bill because it's missing too much. I say, "I don't think you understand the reasoning behind rejecting a torn bill. Here is a complete $5 bill." I ripped it in perfect halves. "Now, both of these will obviously be rejected by any business. Can you tell me why?" They said because too much was missing. "Of course," I said, "but let me tell you in detail. If I were a crooked man, and the law against using torn bills was not as it is, I could rip this bill in half and make it $10. How? By using one half here, and the other half there. But the law says that there must be more than half of the bill (I don't know the exact percentage), because... (blank stares all around) if I tear off one fourth of the bill, then I have a fourth and three fourths. I can use the three fourths, but not the one fourth. ¡Vóila! I cannot use the same bill twice. Now I have three fourths of the bill here, and if I was trying to defraud you, I would have one fourth somewhere else. The law would protect you by saying you should accept my three fourths bill, but not my one fourth bill. Is that clear?" The ladies said blah blah blah about too much of my bill being missing, so I pulled out a ten and left.

18 May 1999
More links have been added to naked Sally. Check it out.

17 May 1999
Just got back from Joel Lueck's graduation from Saluki Law School. He's quite the stud, he is.

I've updated naked Sally. Don't be afraid. No more bad words, except maybe the "p" word ("poopoo" or "peepee")

12 May 1999 10:54 pm
Check out the new pics on Family Stuff's page.

12 May 1999
How many days till Episode I? For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR HEINEY!

How many days till Y2K? Who knows? Who really cares? I will have seen Episode I.

I've gotten into this habit of saying "dot com" after everything dot com. This is the world Liesl will grow up in. I better start calling her Liesl Diesel Dot Com, because it will happen. I'm serious. You will be "Freaked Out SuperDuper Webpage Reader Dot Com", and I will be HondoBondo Dot Com. But here's the site you really want to see: www.wuss.com.

11 May 1999
Now laugh out loud so the person sitting next to you will think you're reading something funny. Now say real loud, "Hondo's SuperDuper webpage ROCKS! I LOVE HIM!"

Yes, today, I am grasping for inspiration. Can you feel me grasp? I'm working on a little deep thought that should make all of you mad. Maybe you'll laugh. Ha.

Check out this site I found on chili peppers. You thought jalapeños were hot, you wuss.

8 May 1999
Check out the changes to Family Stuff's page.

6 May 1999
My head is going to explode. Right...now. There it goes. Ahhh...yes. This week has been hell. I've had a fever since Sunday. 102°+ My head's not supposed to be that hot. Yet I live. Like anyone of you care. Like any one is out there. One? Haha. This is my webpage.

Thirteen long days till Episode I. Of course I don't have the stamina to get in line now for tickets. I just have to steel myself against all the fools who will give away the storyline on TV and whatnot.

Here's a thought: I've noticed that every time there's a burning building, there will be some plus-plus sized woman with nothing but a T-shirt on. No garments below the abdomen en locus operandi. Sheesh. What is that? Do they take them off after someone screams fire? "They might burn up, because heat rises!" Heat rises, right? Or do they just lay around the place exposed?

Another one: does anyone recognize these ingredients? "MECHANICALLY SEPARATED CHICKEN, PARTIALLY DEFATTED COOKED PORK FATTY TISSUE, BEEF TRIPE, PARTIALLY DEFATTED COOKED BEEF FATTY TISSUE..." From here on, it's a self-mocking line-up. Now I can see the need for chicken to be mechanically separated. I mean, who wants to put that on their resumé? But how does one defat fatty tissue? What's left? Partially defatted makes sense. Good thing it's cooked, I wouldn't want to upset any sensitive stomachs. Beef tripe I like. I love menudo. Not the group. NOT THE GROUP.

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